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Resenting Success & Haters in the Church

2/4/2019

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The Patriots won (again), the commercials were lame, and the halftime show featured some bizarre combination of Maroon 5 and a rapper in a fur coat. Now that the Super Bowl is over, a whole tribe has emerged: the Haters. The Haters are known for their hot take tweets during and after the game:

“This is exactly what the NFL wanted! Another Pats win” (Remember that time the NFL was willing to go to the Supreme Court over the PSI of a ball? And took away draft picks over Spygate? And how awkward Goodell is every time he hands over the trophy?)

“The refs should be the MVP for New England” (Are we forgetting the reason the Rams are in the game is because of a blown call? And that MJ totally shoved Byron Russell out of the way?)
“Edelman shouldn’t have won MVP because he juiced” (Alright I’ll give you this. But he took the suspension mandated by the league at least)


Why do the Haters exist? Quite simply, I think it’s because many people resent others’ success. It doesn’t have to be in sports. It happens in business, in education, at work when someone else gets a promotion, and dare I say it… in the church.

When the megachurch across town reaches hundreds of people each week and expands to another campus, the Haters respond with “Well people are going for the circus” or “They’re just a stage show entertaining.”
When the faithful pastor gets called to another church, the Haters reply with “He just used them as a stepping stone.”

When someone gets invited to speak at a conference, the Haters reply with “He’s just interested in building his brand.”


The list goes on and on. As Christians, and especially as pastors, we’re not immune to being Haters when others have success. In fact, I would argue that one of the markers of our maturity as a leader isn’t how we respond to our success, it’s how we respond to others’.

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As pastors, it’s important for us to steer clear of becoming one of the Haters.
  1. We should rejoice when the Gospel impacts lives - Just because the megachurch (or the smaller church down the road) doesn’t do things the way you do doesn’t mean they’ve sold out or compromised. Gospel > Methodology every time. So when people are changed by hearing about Jesus, be glad. It might not happen at your church, and that’s OK.
  2. We need to check our own hearts - Sometimes our response to someone else’s fruitfulness in ministry comes because our own hearts are seared. We can get jealous. We can ask “Why not me?” And we can let that jealousy build until we become a Hater.
  3. We must learn from each other - Blackaby’s impact in Experiencing God came from his simple maxim: find out where God is working, and join Him there. When things happen in another church or another ministry, instead of becoming a Hater it’s important for us to learn what’s going on and see what God is doing. It might not be explainable. I was on staff at a church that had experienced incredible growth over several years, and no one could explain why.
  4. We guard against snarky joy - Not only do the Haters resent another’s success, they find joy in the failure of those who’d been successful. When the Patriots finally dissolve, the Haters will have parades. Pastors, we must not ever find snarky joy when others fail, when they have a fall from the top and lose everything. We saw this when the televangelists got caught embezzling money, when Driscoll imploded, when Hybels was caught, and we’re watching it now with MacDonald and HBC. No matter the circumstances, don’t rejoice in another’s fall (Proverbs 24:17).

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    Scott M. Douglas

    A blog about leadership and the lasting legacy of family ministry. ​

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