Student Ministers, Learn to say "No"

A few months ago I met with my student leadership team where we talked about one of the most important words a leader can learn: no. They were shocked when I told them "I say no to anywhere between 80%-90% of the ideas people give me. It's not that they're always bad ideas, sometimes they are, but it's because I don't want to stuff our ministry with things that don't advance the goal." Every leader needs to learn to say no, but I think it's especially important for student ministers. We consume ourselves with the false impression that busy = effective, so we program ourselves to death chasing after every event, mission trip, concert, and retreat. The reality is that in the end, we're exhausting ourselves, straining our church resources, placing an extra burden on our families, asking parents to over-extended their finances, and often spending way too much time doing stuff that doesn't matter.

You're not Superman. Most student ministries are small and often find the student minister (and spouse) as the main volunteers. When we say yes to everything, we put ourselves and our spouses on a pace that we weren't meant to keep. One person can't manage all that's often asked of student ministers. That's why it's so important to develop a team of volunteers, and empower them to lead ministries. Here's the reality guys, you're not that important. Some things can happen without you. You don't have to be at every ball game, every class fellowship, every birthday party, etc. Empower and equip your volunteers and cheer for them when they do those things. It multiplies your ministry and allows you to focus on the priorities God has for you in ministry.

You can't let everyone be a guest speaker. "God's given me a message to share with your students" is a phrase that sends a chill up my spine. I'm not saying every guest speaker is wacky, but there are plenty out there. And as the primary teacher/communicator, you have the responsibility to make sure that what's being taught and presented is biblical and edifying. You can't let anyone and everyone have your teaching spot. I use a rotation of a handful of guys I know and trust when I have to be away from our regular student ministry gatherings. I typically go over the plan with them and get feedback on what they're planning to do, but since there's a high level of trust it's never an issue. It's not always so rosy though, two of the better examples I've had to say no to are:

• The evangelist who uses his dog to communicate God's love (yes for serious, I kept the postcard for about a year to use as a teaching tool)
• The guy who wanted to preach for me who said "Yeah I love Jesus but I tend to get insanely drunk on the weekends without trying to stop"

You can't do every activity that gets suggested. One thing we can never do in student ministry is let things get stale, where we keep doing the same things over and over again. Everything has a shelf life, and even good ideas can become golden calves if we're not careful. Soliciting ideas from others is a great way to generate new ministries and activities. But just because it's a good idea doesn't mean that it's something to incorporate into your ministry. Ask yourself four questions:

1. Is this something that aligns with our mission, vision, and core values? Hopefully you've laid out what these are for your ministry. It provides a great filter to prioritize ideas that help advance you towards your vision through your mission and in line with what you believe is most important.
2. Are we already doing something like this? I don't believe in redundancy in ministry, but that doesn't always mean an idea is scrapped. Perhaps the new idea can either be a supplement or substitute for what you're already doing.
3. Will this work with our scheduling philosophy? I'll have more to say on this in the next post. But a scheduling philosophy is where you try to balance your own family, your ministry's calendar, your church's calendar, and what would help keep families together on a regular basis. Sometimes ideas just don't work, and that's ok. We abandoned a weeknight Bible study after a couple semesters because we realized it was throwing the schedule off-balance--it kept families from being together one more night in the week. So while it was a good idea and very successful, it didn't fit the scheduling philosophy.
4. Can we make this work with our resources? Let's be honest, most of us in student ministry are operating with limited resources. We only get so much allocated in our annual budget, we only have so many vehicles, there are only so many volunteers, and our ministries are only a certain size. I have a firm conviction against fundraising, so many times we have to say no simply because we can't afford it. Other times it sounds like a great idea but we don't have the manpower to pull it off.

In the end, that's ok. You're not called to be everything. If you're serving in a small church with a small student ministry, you can't do all the things the megachurch across town can do. That's ok. Focus on the students God has given you and invest your life in them. And if you're in the megachurch, your time will be spent investing in leaders and volunteers more than in students. That's ok. Empower them to multiply the ministry. The point of this article is simple: be who God has called you to be, and do what God has called you to do. Learning to say no helps you keep your eyes on what's most important.

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